Predictions For 2009 From 'The Onion'
Jan 4th, 2009 · Not much happened in 2008, says Onion editor Joe Randazzo, but one event did prove popular enough that his satirical news publication predicts we'll see it reprised this year.
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A Food Fight Erupts over the 'Everything' Bagel
Mar 13th, 2008 · New Yorker David Gussin says he invented the classic "everything" bagel 30 years ago, marrying poppy seeds with sesame seeds, salt, onion and more. A rival foodie challenges that claim, but Gussin's not giving in.
Music Writer Listens to His Past for 'Onion' ****
Mar 8th, 2008 · Music writer Noel Murray is avoiding new music as he reviews his bulging record collection. He will chronicle his efforts for the satirical newspaper The Onion.
Taking the Pain Out of Cooking with Onions
Feb 25th, 2008 · Cooks who love onions but hate what the vegetables can do to their eyes may soon find relief, thanks to a group of scientists in New Zealand. The team says it has genetically altered an onion so it's missing an enzyme that's essential for an onion's pungent punch.
Digital Dining the Latest in Self Service *
Jan 9th, 2008 · The latest in self-service technology is a touch screen at your restaurant table. It allows you to place orders directly with the kitchen. Why keep a waitress waiting while you agonize over fries or onion rings? The company behind the technology says it provides faster service, and fewer mistakes.
'Dumb World' Comprehensive and Slanderous *
Dec 22nd, 2007 · Satiric newspaper The Onion puts together its new Our Dumb World: The Onion's Atlas of the Planet Earth. It is guaranteed to offend people from just about every state and nation. The writers and editors did all of the research without leaving their homes.
Satirical 'Onion' Attracts Readers Online, in Print ***
Oct 23rd, 2007 · Greg Beato, contributing editor and columnist at Reason magazine, talks about the rise of the satirical newspaper The Onion. He explains how The Onion recently achieved a 60 percent increase in print circulation and now attracts more than two million online readers per week.
iPhone Roasted by 'The Onion' **
Jun 29th, 2007 · That iPhone? Among the handful of reviewers who got an advance look: The Onion. The satirical paper says that the iPhone has among its list of highly anticipated features: Nano-techonology that allows it to reassemble itself when thrown against the wall. It takes Polaroids. It reproduces through asexual budding. The paper also reported that Steve Jobs is working on a second-generation iPhone, making this one ridiculously outdated already.
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